How far would you go to confront your fear and why does it matter?
2023 was a year when I learned about one emotion: fear. I confronted two big fears that got me chills down my spine: a 10m cliff jump and presenting myself in a Standup Comedy show.
Generally, I am an adrenaline seeker; I do not fear heights, and I love all these extreme activities. Yet my legs were trembling when I stood at the edge of that cliff. It took me 30 minutes to have a battle inside my own head and convince my whole physical being that I’d be okay if I jumped. I jumped and I felt amazing.
Now public speaking has always been a no-go for me. I am awkward and there is no way I’d stand in front of a crowd and try to make them laugh. To me, doing Standup Comedy is 100000xxx times scarier than jumping off that cliff or even doing skydiving which I also did a month prior.
So I decided to say yes to the opportunity to perform a standup comedy in front of 100 crowd, it was a big show with pro comedians headlining it. I kid you not, 2 hours before leaving the house for that show, my body reacted like it had never been before to any fear I have experienced. My whole body was shaking and I had the urge to vomit. I have never been this scared in my whole life!
To get a sense of the overwhelming feeling, I tried to break it down and get in touch with reality. This is what I got:
The danger:
- Humiliation
- Embarrassment
The fear:
- The big crowd
- Being the center of attention
- Freeze mid-speech
- Forgot my lines
- Being unfunny and boring
- Nobody laughs at my jokes
The facts:
- I prepared, even though it was such a short amount of time but my material is quite good and strong
- Humiliation and embarrassment will happen regardless; it is my first time, nobody is perfect at doing it for the first time
- If I am true to my philosophy to seek discomfort in life, this is the time to actually embrace it
Long story short, I did it! Longest 7 minutes of my life, but my performance went really well, I didn’t forget my lines, people laughed at my jokes, and I got applause from the crowds. Once I got off the stage, I could not believe what just happened, and the experience was totally worth it.
What lesson have I learned about fear from these two experiences?
- Fear and danger are not synonymous. Understanding the difference between danger and fear is very important. Fear is a reaction to danger
- Danger doesn’t equal facts. Learn facts. Educate yourself about the situation that causes you to fear
- Fear comes from not knowing what MIGHT come. Fear comes from not knowing what to expect and not feeling you have control over what’s about to happen. When you feel helpless, you’re far more afraid than you would be if you knew the facts.
- Your body/physical being would react to fear and it is normal
- Most fear does not prevent deaths; most fear prevents an awesome life
- A head full of fears has no space for dreams
- The more you know, the less you fear
Now 1,5 years later, I am still doing it for fun.
So, would you ever confront your fear?